If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
