Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
