Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.�
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
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