i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
