I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Just pee around me
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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