I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
my nose is crying tears of wow.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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