i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
