I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
