peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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