please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
