You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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