Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
