Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
