i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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