She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
