Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
