Quick, to the slutcave!
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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