Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
