No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Randomize
