And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Randomize
