3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
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