billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
