there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
