I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Randomize
