I look better un-naked...
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
