It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
