I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
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