woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Randomize
