why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
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