Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
