she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
What a dumb baby whore.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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