What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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