Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Drake has all the answers
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
