Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
