Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Randomize
