Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
