you guys were way drunker than both of me
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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