I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
His hands were made for my vagina.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize
