hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
