I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
