I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
