there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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