I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
