Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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