I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
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