alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Randomize
