put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Randomize
