Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
