her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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