I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Randomize
