We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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