There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
