Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
