I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
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