I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
