i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
