and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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